City bus would drive right past me
My dog even said "We're over"
He wants to see other owners
(Hey) So I talked to a doctor
(Hey) 'Cause I was overthinking
(Hey) That day she quit and she recommended I just start drinking (you've got problems)
My dating profile said "Just swipe left" 'cause I know I'll annoy them
Women wouldn't even look my direction
Hey, Siri (I have a boyfriend)
Then one day I overslept (huh?)
Woke up late like "What the heck?" (wait)
Checked my socials, wait a sec (what?)
Next to my name was a big blue check?
Bitch, I'm verified
(Woo, woo) Bitch, I'm verified
You got the blue check (woo), you got the blue check
You got the blue check (woo)
Bitch, I'm verified
I'm feeling tremendous (woo, yeah)
Now people clap when I finish up a sentence
Now they built a statue to honor my existence (okay, woo)
Now I got the president fillin' up my mentions
I don't need a chauffeur, I ain't had a car since last October
Ever since they gave me a Nobel prize
I don't drive 'cause a crowd carries me everywhere on their shoulders
(Hey) They put my face on a dollar
(Hey) I grew a few inches taller
(Hey) Being verified is amazing
Ellen hit me up and said she wants to have my baby (I love you)
And they tore down the Sphinx
And replaced it with my face and my social links
And they named a new species of dinosaur after me
Puff-Puff-asaurus, naturally
When I hang around the Queen
She's the one who bows to me
She's gotta show respect
'Cause I'm the one with the big blue check
Bitch, I'm verified
(Woo, woo) Bitch, I'm verified
You got the blue check (woo), you got the blue check
You got the blue check (woo)
Bitch, I'm verified
You got the blue check (woo), you got the blue check
You got the blue check (woo)
Bitch, I'm verified
Puff, puff, puff, puff, it's time to cut the grass
No, Grandma, I don't have to mow, I'm verified now
A veggie-what? I don't care if you eat meat or not, you get out there and cut that grass
Ugh
2:46
